I know I've kinda of gotten away from my regular blog posting since we've started the adoption journey. But I think sometimes I just don't feel like I have much ado to blog about ;0) unless I think it's something deep and witty to relay to you all.
But this morning at church, one of the scripture passages kind of got to me, and I felt like I had something to say about it.
This blog post is of course intended for all my readers (thanks Mom and Heather), but more specifically for my friends with/or who live with CF on a daily basis.
I would consider myself a pretty upbeat person. I don't tend to let my CF get me down too often.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I have my days.
We all do.
When I cough for 4 hours straight and can't seem to get the bronchospasms to stop no matter what I do...
3 percussion sessions in a row with the vest at night and 2 cough drops later, and I'm finally able to go back to sleep, just to have my alarm clock go off in 30 minutes to do my morning treatments...you can't blame me for letting my frustrations with it get to me.
I usually spend that ENTIRE time praying to God, just asking him to take the bronchospasms away and let me sleep.
He does, though it may not be in the timing I want him to, He does answer.
Sometimes it makes me question why I had to be one of the 30,000 children and young adults in America that are living with this disease.
Trust me, I was diagnosed at 5 days old, have lived with CF my whole life, I know what living with CF is.
And as much as I hate the ups and downs of CF, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
To be perfectly honest, as much as I hate the ups and downs of CF, I would gladly take on all the CF in the world if it meant no one else had to deal with it ever again.
I have NO concept of what my life would be like without CF in it.
So while I've accepted what I was handed when I was born, and most days I roll with the punches, and on those off days I know that it's just one bad day in a sea of more good days right now...sometimes I still question, "Why me?" Or for that matter, "Why me and all the other great people in my life affected by CF?"
And then Crosspoint happens...and out of nowhere (or so it would seem to me) just what I need to hear is said from the stage.
So...for me and all the other people living with CF (whether personally, or dealing with it via a family member, friend, spouse, whatever)...I hope this passage helps you, like it helped me today.
There are some groups of people that believe the reason a person is born with some type of affliction, disease, whatever, is because of past sins in their lives.
Some believe that if you have a disease or some "blemish" you can't do certain things, or hold certain status, or have certain jobs.
I've never believed any of that. To be honest I think that's just more of Satan's lies meant to push us down.
So when I saw this passage on the screen this morning, and I sat back and read it, I thought, "This just gives me further proof, in a way, that God created me just as I am. He gave me purpose, even within my disease, and gosh darn it, he thinks I'm pretty special."
The Message (MSG)
Salt and Light
13 “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.
Now, I don't believe this passage is about people with CF specifically. I don't think if there's a cure for CF that we're goign to "end up in the garbage."
But I can't help but think that it's interesting that people with CF are a little extra salty...
And God says we are here to be the salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth.
There are plenty of other people who can bring out the saltiness for God, CF or not.
But I guess when I read a passage that talks about saltiness, and I'm a salty girl, and I've had a few days of extra coughing, and trying to figure out what the purpose of me dealing with this disease is, it kind of feels like it's been written just for me.
"Hey Holly, Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be the salt-seasoning (literally, tee hee) that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness?"
CF makes me salty, and I'm here to be the salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth.
And maybe God gave me CF because through it I can show others his love, his faithfulness, his grace, his blessings. Because in spite of my CF, I can see all of those things that God is.
Maybe the salt crystals on my forehead when I sweat are supposed to be a physical reminder to me that I am here for a bigger reason.
Maybe God recognized that while I live and breathe with a little more difficulty than everyone else, I could show Him to others in a way that maybe someone who isn't quite so salty (in the same way as I am) couldn't.
So as a reminder to me, and to all my CF peeps...
God made us this way on purpose.
We are meant to be salty.
We are meant to show our saltiness to others.
And we are meant to be the salt-seasoning that brings out the God flavors of this earth.