Saltiness is Good!

I know I've kinda of gotten away from my regular blog posting since we've started the adoption journey.  But I think sometimes I just don't feel like I have much ado to blog about ;0) unless I think it's something deep and witty to relay to you all.

 

But this morning at church, one of the scripture passages kind of got to me, and I felt like I had something to say about it.

 

This blog post is of course intended for all my readers (thanks Mom and Heather), but more specifically for my friends with/or who live with CF on a daily basis. 

 

I would consider myself a pretty upbeat person.  I don't tend to let my CF get me down too often. 

 

I mean, don't get me wrong, I have my days. 

 

We all do.

 

When I cough for 4 hours straight and can't seem to get the bronchospasms to stop no matter what I do... 

 

3 percussion sessions in a row with the vest at night and 2 cough drops later, and I'm finally able to go back to sleep, just to have my alarm clock go off in 30 minutes to do my morning treatments...you can't blame me for letting my frustrations with it get to me.

 

I usually spend that ENTIRE time praying to God, just asking him to take the bronchospasms away and let me sleep. 

 

He does, though it may not be in the timing I want him to, He does answer.

 

Sometimes it makes me question why I had to be one of the 30,000 children and young adults in America that are living with this disease. 

 

Trust me, I was diagnosed at 5 days old, have lived with CF my whole life, I know what living with CF is. 

 

And as much as I hate the ups and downs of CF, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

To be perfectly honest, as much as I hate the ups and downs of CF, I would gladly take on all the CF in the world if it meant no one else had to deal with it ever again.

 

I have NO concept of what my life would be like without CF in it.

 

So while I've accepted what I was handed when I was born, and most days I roll with the punches, and on those off days I know that it's just one bad day in a sea of more good days right now...sometimes I still question, "Why me?" Or for that matter, "Why me and all the other great people in my life affected by CF?"

 

And then Crosspoint happens...and out of nowhere (or so it would seem to me) just what I need to hear is said from the stage.

 

So...for me and all the other people living with CF (whether personally, or dealing with it via a family member, friend, spouse, whatever)...I hope this passage helps you, like it helped me today.

 

 

There are some groups of people that believe the reason a person is born with some type of affliction, disease, whatever, is because of past sins in their lives.

 

Some believe that if you have a disease or some "blemish" you can't do certain things, or hold certain status, or have certain jobs.

 

I've never believed any of that.  To be honest I think that's just more of Satan's lies meant to push us down. 

 

So when I saw this passage on the screen this morning, and I sat back and read it, I thought, "This just gives me further proof, in a way, that God created me just as I am.  He gave me purpose, even within my disease, and gosh darn it, he thinks I'm pretty special."

 

Matthew 5:13

The Message (MSG)

Salt and Light

¹³ “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

Now, I don't believe this passage is about people with CF specifically.  I don't think if there's a cure for CF that we're goign to "end up in the garbage."

But I can't help but think that it's interesting that people with CF are a little extra salty...

And God says we are here to be the salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth.

There are plenty of other people who can bring out the saltiness for God, CF or not.

But I guess when I read a passage that talks about saltiness, and I'm a salty girl, and I've had a few days of extra coughing, and trying to figure out what the purpose of me dealing with this disease is, it kind of feels like it's been written just for me.

"Hey Holly, Let me tell you why you are here.  You're here to be the salt-seasoning (literally, tee hee) that brings out the God-flavors of this earth.  If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness?"

CF makes me salty, and I'm here to be the salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. 

And maybe God gave me CF because through it I can show others his love, his faithfulness, his grace, his blessings.  Because in spite of my CF, I can see all of those things that God is.

Maybe the salt crystals on my forehead when I sweat are supposed to be a physical reminder to me that I am here for a bigger reason. 

Maybe God recognized that while I live and breathe with a little more difficulty than everyone else,  I could show Him to others in a way that maybe someone who isn't quite so salty (in the same way as I am) couldn't.

So as a reminder to me, and to all my CF peeps...

God made us this way on purpose.

We are meant to be salty.

We are meant to show our saltiness to others.

And we are meant to be the salt-seasoning that brings out the God flavors of this earth.

We're getting closer...

Many of you know we've been in kind of a holding pattern with our Adoption process.

Holding pattern may not be the right word...we've purposely been holding off on signing off on our Homestudy. It was approved and once we sign off on it and pay our next fee we will be active.

We were holding off not because we didn't want to go active...we were waiting to raise some more money so we don't fully deplete all of our savings (we're very financially conscious in our house...which sounds sort of silly if you know how expensive adoption is).

This past weekend we had a garage sale and raised $700 more for our adoption fund.

Woo Hoo *hands waving in the air (clapping in sign language)

 

So...Where does this put us in the process?

Chris and I both feel we should wait until after our next pay day before we sign the next check.

You have no idea how hard it can be to write that huge of a check and hand it over... we are SO excited for where it's taking us, but like any big amount of money that leaves your bank account (no matter what it's for) it can kind of make you nauseous when you first hand it over.

We have been faithful in following the path that we feel God has asked us to take, and of course HE is always faithful and blesses us abundantly. We've definitely seen this in this past weekend. 

So, I can safely say that we will be active this month..and I will for sure let you all know the day our faces show up on the website ;0) * We'll be looking for them as soon as that check makes it to the agency.

Thank you for supporting us. Whether it's been financially or by prayer. We are without a doubt so thankful and blessed to have every single one of you supporting us along this crazy journey.

You can continue to support us by:

1. Praying for us and our adoption journey. Once we go active we can begin applying for grants and funding. We're also looking into some other fundraising opportunities (school starting has slowed down my pursuance of these opportunities, but now that I've gotten back into the school routine I can begin this process again). We'll keep you updated on all of this information as we know more.

2. Praying for our Birth Mom. We still don't know her yet, but odds are she could be pregnant now, and may be debating between keeping the baby or not (and I don't necessarily mean parenting vs. adoption here). We know God will bring us the perfect child for us, and it will be in his timing...we want that birth mom to be bathed in love and prayers from us and our family and friends. Please join Chris and I in praying for a woman that we don't even know yet, a woman who is facing some tough decisions, and the future of a baby who is already loved by so many.

3. Pray that we don't go crazy waiting to find out if we've been picked after we go active. Chris said to me not too long ago, "I'm not gonna lie, if we don't get picked soon after we go active, I'm gonna be kind of upset. Because we're pretty awesome!" I don't disagree with him. Again, we know things will happen in His timing, but that doesn't make it any easier when we have wants/expectations for our timing.

4. Check in with us periodically. Once we go active, it could be days, weeks, or months before we get picked...and so I may not have updates to post very often. Checking in with us, not only reminds us that we still have that support from our friends and family, but it helps us to remember to check in with the agency every once in a while too. 

Arteriosclerosis I do NOT have!

Today's been one of those days that stretches my faith. 

Sometimes it's hard to believe in the decency of God's people when you encounter those who, by the way they treat you, make it clear that they are not people of God. 

 Even outside of whether you are or are not a Christ follower, there is still such a thing as treating others with dignity and respect. 

I may not always be in the happiest of moods, I may have a bad day or be frustrated, but I hope I never make another person feel the way I was made to feel today, or speak to another person the way I was spoken to.  And if I ever do, I hope I have the decency to tell them that I was wrong in doing so, apologize, and tell them that in no way did they ever deserve for me to treat them like they were nothing. 

Update on the process

I'm sorry it took me a few weeks to update you on our Home Visit...

Today was the first day of School (for students, I've been back in my office a few days), so I've been a smidge busy getting the end of summer tied up, hobbling along on my still healing foot, and getting prepared for the start of another school year.

Our home visit went well.

We answered the same questions we'd already answered twice, AGAIN.

Chris gave her a tour of our home (I wasn't walking very well yet when she came).

It was nothing like we were expecting...

I mean, they told us they weren't going to come in wearing a white glove and check for dust on furniture.

And to be honest, with my undiagnosed OCD, I (Chris does a great job as well) keep the house picked up pretty well.

But, Chris said she didn't even step off the last step when he showed her the basement, and she barely set one foot into each room when he took her down the hall.

Now, I know we have no major safety concerns going on in our house.  I didn't worry that she was going to walk in and say, "OH my gosh, there is no way on earth I'm going to permit a child in this home."  But I figured she'd at least walk into the rooms and look around a bit. 

Whatever, it's done, it went well, and as of last Friday we received an email that our whole Home study was approved!

WOO HOO!!!!!

What does that mean?

It means that once we get our last few background checks done, and turn in those papers, sign off on the home study and send in a check, we are active.

Active = our biography (which turned out SUPER CUTE by the way) will be shown to possible birth moms.

And then we'll get picked...hopefully soon.

Let's face it, we're pretty awesome.  How could we not get picked soon?  ;0)

So that's the scoop.

Please continue to pray...

Pray for:

1. Us: We know a lot of people who have gone through this process.  We know it can have ups and downs, and the waiting part can be one of the hardest parts.  And we know that some parts of the process can strain a relationship.  So just pray for us and the continued process to go smoothly, with as few bumps as possible.

2. The birth mom:  Again, we don't know her yet, and she may just be finding out she's pregnant, or she may have been struggling with this decision for a while.  Whatever the case may be, we know that God is present in the situation, even if she isn't aware of his presence.

3.  That God will continue to provide the money to help us fund our adoption.  We are being very choosey about what we say we will do/be a part of/spend money on right now.  We know we have to tighten our budget some, and we know God will provide for what we need.  We have some fun(d)-raisers coming up soon, and I'll let you know as those approach what they are...but until then, I'm still scrapbooking to raise money, and I'm still willing to do other crafty projects for people as well. 

 I'll try to keep you updated as soon as we go active.

Thanks for all of your support.

Where we're at...

We've been super busy the past few months getting ready for our home visit. 

Most all the paperwork we had to fill out is in...just waiting on a few extra pieces of info.

Our home visit is tomorrow morning at 8:30am.

I shouldn't be nervous...but I'm not gonna lie, I am a little. 

After my recent foot injury I haven't been up and moving as fast as I usually am, and as I want.  So I haven't been able to get all the things done that I want too.

No matter, it will go great.  Our house is never really that messy (thanks to my OCD), and Mom came over and helped me clean yesterday.

So that's the update. 

They said 4-6 weeks after our home visit is when the home study is usually finished and approved.  At that point they will start showing our profile/biography to birth moms.

I'll probably have more to update you on then.

Please pray for us tomorrow morning as we answer questions we've already anwered and as we have our house looked at to make sure it's safe for a baby.

Again, thanks for all of your support.  Chris and I are so blessed.

BIG News!

I know it's been a while since I've written a post...but I've been waiting for a reason.

Chris and I have been married 7 1/2 years...and they've been the best 7 1/2 years of my life.

We've had ups and downs, and all the in betweens. 

And we've weathered each of those storms together.

Last October we began looking into expanding our family through adoption. 

We attended an information meeting at a local agency...and to say we were completely overwhelmed after leaving would be an understatement. 

The next day I had an appointment with my Pulmonologist.  I was telling him about our meeting the day before.  He dropped the bombshell I had never expected.  He asked if we'd thought of having kids biologically. 

This was never on my/our radar.  My entire life I thought this wasn't something that would be recommended for me.

We talked about it, we had some tests done, we met with Dr. Eigen again...

He told me I'm not sick enough to say no, and I'm not well enough to say yes.  He will support us no matter what we decide.


There was a grief process I had to go through after that meeting. 

You see I had always thought it wasn't an option...then it was put on the table...then it was half way taken away again.

All the dreams I have for being a Mom...I don't want those to be lost because I'm too sick to do them, or not even here to share them with Chris and our child.

So we decided that adoption was the right route for us.


Chris and I signed with an adoption agency a few weeks ago.

We are very excited, nervous, scared, etc...to start this process.

Currently we're sorting through the mounds of paperwork we have to fill out.  In July we'll have our first interview and Home Study class. 

August will most likely be our in home study, and as long as that comes back fabulous then we'll be active.

There are a lot of steps to the process and as nervous as we are right now, we hope the process goes as smoothly as possible.


I'm sure you'll have questions...feel free to ask.

Right now, if you want to help us, here's how:

1. Above all else, please pray for us as we're going through this process.  We still have a lot of things to learn.  Pray for us to not be overwhelmed by all the information thrown at us.  That we can get everything (paperwork, changes to the house, etc) done when it all needs to be done. 

2.  Pray for the Birth Mom...obviously we don't know her...it's possible she's not even pregnant yet.  But pray for her and her baby...that she would know how strong she is for carrying this baby and the baby would be the perfect baby for us.

3.  Chris and I are going to be looking at our finances and finding places we can save money for this adoption.  The truth is that adoption is not cheap.  Please realize that there may be times we have to say no to things because we're working toward expanding our family.  I'm looking for ideas of things to make and sell to help with the baby fund.  Right now, if you know of anyone who is wanting a personalized scrapbook done, I'm offering up my talents ;0)  I'm a pretty crafty person so if you've seen something on Pinterest or in a magazine that you like but aren't sure if you want to try and make it, or you don't have the time to do so, I'm willing to give it a go ;0)


Thank you for your support ahead of time.  Chris and I know how awesome our friends and families are...and we know that you'll be behind us 100%.

Fun Stuff

Just thought I'd post a few fun things that we've been up to this month!

I can't believe April is already almost over.  This is when the busy part of our year starts...and to be honest, it really doesn't slow down until about January 1st the next year.  Good gracious.

Spring Break was the first week in April.

We went to Madison for a few days and hung with D&K.

When we got home we did some work around the house.

I visited my Pookster and FINALLY got to meet Alli and Ben

Roommates and Wombmates!  (Yes, this will be the title for the scrapbook page) ;0)

We spent two whole days working on our front flower bed.  Now we know why we put it off so long. 

Before:

The ducks helped...by help I mean they sat there (inside) and looked gorgeous:

Go Husband:

Lots of digging:

After:

For those of you wondering...NO, we are not available for hire.  If something ever happens to the flower bed we will pay for it to be redone. 


By far...I think my favorite April event was celebrating Chris and his Birthday.

After all, life just wouldn't be the same if he wasn't ever born.

SUPER HOT HUSBAND!

So, I did something festive that I found on pinterest (woo hoo, all those hours of pinning are not for nothing).

Here it is:

Chris turned 32, so  I did 32 balloons and attached to them were 32 pictures of memories we wouldn't have ever had together if he was never born.

He LOVED it...but I think he loved the turn tables I got him more ;0)

I love my hubby!